


Reddit Mini-Fics Collection

by Literary_Disaster



Series: Stories Inspired by Prompts [4]
Category: Final Fantasy VI, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, South Park, The Legend of Zelda (Cartoon 1989), The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Genre: Constrained Writings, Gen, Humor, Mini-Prompts, reddit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 05:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8274953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literary_Disaster/pseuds/Literary_Disaster
Summary: (Originally titled r/FanFiction October Mini-Prompts)A collection of mini-fics inspired by prompts taken from r/FanFiction and r/WritingPrompts. Every chapter is a different mini-fic possibly set in a different fandom.





	1. The Peephole (South Park)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Get in here! - 400 words - Jam as many characters as you can into a small space, everyone must say at least one thing. Spooktacular Bonus: Someone in the space is either dead previously or dies now.

**_The Peephole_ **  
**_\- South Park_ **

It was in a cramped closet that the four boys were hiding, although, spying probably described things better. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny held Cartman aloft as he peered through a tiny hole and into the room beyond.

“Do you see anything yet?” Stan asked.

Cartman growled, “Get off my back, hippie! I’ll tell you when I see her!”

Kyle readjusted his grip on Cartman’s leg. “I don’t understand why we’re holding up this tub of lard to spy on your girlfriend, dude.”

“Um, well, you see…” Stan coughed.

Cartman laughed. “I sure as hell don’t wanna be covered in hippie puke.”

“‘Kay… But why’re we spying on Wendy in the girl’s locker room again?”

Kenny, who had the lovely job of holding up Cartman’s ass, rambled something about licking, cats, and running laps. This prompted Cartman to laugh again and Kyle to stick out his tongue in disgust.

“Dude, gross!”

“Actually, that was the rumor I heard.” Stan sighed.

Kyle frowned. “Oh. Dude, that’s pretty fucked up right here.”

“I know! That’s what I said!”

The closet went silent when Cartman shushed them. “Girls at twelve o’clock!” he whispered with excitement.

“You see anything?”

There was a moment of unusual silence. “I’m…” Cartman finally faltered. “I’m actually not familiar with what I’m seeing.”

“What?” Kyle grunted. “What is it?”

Kenny once again rambled something about licking and cats.

Cartman pressed closer to the peephole. “Oh, there’s a cat alright,” he said. “But I wouldn’t say they’re licking it.”

“What’s going on, Cartman?” Stan asked.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny looked to each other when silence followed.

“Cartman?”

Cartman began fidgeting in their grips. “You guys, I…” Suddenly, there was a deafening thunderclap followed by a smell so putrid that it sent the three boys into coughing fits.

“Jesus Christ, Cartman!” Kyle shouted.

“God damn, dude!” Stan shook his head.

Cartman laughed apologetically. “My bad, you guys. I should’ve warned you about the burritos I had for lunch.”

Unfortunately, Kenny coughed so hard that he lost his grip on Cartman’s ass and collapsed to the ground. Without him, Stan and Kyle could no longer maintain Cartman’s weight. He landed on square on Kenny’s head and sprayed the entire closet with blood and gore.

“The fuck, assholes?!” Cartman screamed with a jiggling of arm fat.

“Oh, my god!” Stan cried. “Cartman killed Kenny!”

“You bastard!” Kyle also cried.

“I fucking hate you guys.”


	2. Frog Song (Final Fantasy VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: who's who at the zoo - 100 words - Someone gets turned into an animal.

_**Frog Song**_  
_**\- Final Fantasy VII**_

Tifa looked down at the frog at her feet. It croaked at her, giving the impression of an apology. She snorted and rolled the Transform materia in her hand. “You can croak all you want, but I’m not changing you back. Maybe this’ll teach you not to call me a ‘Big Boobed Bimbo’.”

“I’ll save you!” Cloud ran up beside her and squashed the frog with his boot. “It was about to cast Frog Song!”

“Hope you have a Phoenix Down. That was Aeris you just squashed.” Tifa grinned a smug grin.

Cloud’s face met palm. “God dammit, Tifa.”


	3. Cakegasm (Final Fantasy VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: dramatic food moment - 100 words - Your Choice of 4 Images! Pick one, the fandom is still whatever you like! (I chose a picture involving cake.)

**_Cakegasm_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VI_ **

The triple chocolate layer cake called to Terra like no other before it. She gave in to its demands and readied her fork for battle. This was it!

In taking her first bite, she struggled to keep her body from contorting at odd angles from the orgasm she was experiencing in her mouth. The pleasure centers all over her body were firing so much that she moaned loudly from the floor. Her dress and panties were soaked to the brim as if she had wet herself. She took a deep breath. She wanted more!

No.

_She needed more._


	4. A Case of Mistaken Assumptions (Final Fantasy VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: You talkin' to me? - 200 words - Mistaken identity. This is either the best or worst thing to ever happen to your character.

**_A Case of Mistaken Assumptions_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VI_ **

Celes crossed her arms and tapped a finger in a show of anger. The frown, of course, helped get her emotions across. “I’m sorry,” she snapped. “Could you repeat that?”

The civilian, now sweating buckets, tried to draw his collar out some. He stammered out, “I said, ‘You’re the spitting image of a guy who recently passed through here.’”

“Are you saying that I look like a man?!” Celes withdrew her blade and leveled it at his neck. “I’ve already been mistaken for a damn opera singer! What’s next?! Some queen turned to stone in a forgotten castle of a long dead kingdom?!”

“No, not you, lady!” said the cowering man. “I was talking to the muscle bound guy with you!”

“Oh.” Celes sheathed her blade and her snarl. She turned to Sabin, who was standing beside her cracking his knuckles. He looked smug. Perhaps too smug. “What’s your problem?”

Sabin shrugged and maintained his tight-lipped smugness. “I knew he was talking about Edgar long before you put your foot in your mouth.” He laughed.

Celes growled an apology to the civilian and stormed down the street. She couldn’t wait to reach the inn. She’d had enough of people today.


	5. One for You, One for Me (Final Fantasy VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Chores - 100 words - Sometimes mundane, everyday tasks can be fun!

**_One for You, One for Me_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VII_ **

Aeris stepped outside her mother’s house and took in the sad sight. “Oh, you poor things!” she whispered to the flowers. “A good watering’ll do you good! I know I need one!”

She procured the garden hose in one hand and a flask of vodka in the other. She pointed the hose to one bunch of flowers and soon after took a long swig. “There’s one for you, one for me.” She giggled and repeated the process with the next bunch.

It was hours later when a disappointed Elmyra found her daughter drunkenly laughing in an expensive pool of water.


	6. Peer Pressure (Final Fantasy VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Bromance - 100 words - Platonic love. Does your character love their best friend, their worst enemy, or...?

**_Peer Pressure_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VI_ **

Locke slammed down his mug and struggled to turn his head. “Edgar!” he slurred. “I gotta tell ya. I love you, man.”

Edgar hiccupped. “I know.”

“No, you don’t, man. You’re my best friend. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“I know.”

Terra emptied her own glass before giggling uncontrollably. “Locke!” She leaned forward to whisper loudly. “Loooocke! He won’t know until you kiss him!” Celes and Sabin joined her in her laughter.

Locke drawled, “I may be drunk, but I’m not kissing another man.”

Terra groaned in disappointment. Celes added, “And we were hoping you would.”


	7. Mini-Masamune (Final Fantasy VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Disgusting! - 100 words - The villain wins by grossing out your hero.

**_Mini-Masamune_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VII_ **

There he was. Sephiroth. Finally, he was going to pay for everything. Aeris. The plan—Wait a minute. Where the hell where his clothes?! And why the hell was he holding his dick in his hand?!

“Ah, Cloud…” he said with a hint of menace. “Prepare to be impaled by my new ‘sword’. Surely you know of it? The Mini-Masamune?”

Cloud stopped where he was, dropped his sword to the ground, and promptly ran back whence he came. “I give up! You win! The planet’s yours! I need an adult!”

Sephiroth laughed. It was all too easy!


	8. Terra's Memories (Final Fantasy VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Fog - 400 words - Are you lost, or trying to lose someone? Spooktacular bonus: Eyes everywhere. (This has been kind of lifted from _A Balance of Power_ Chapter 16. A few edits have been made to make it fit within the constraints. Consider it an alternate variation.)

**_Terra’s Memories_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VI_ **

Terra froze in place and couldn’t help staring into nothingness. This fog had prevented her from discovering who she was, where she was from. But with the touch of her father’s magicite, the clarity began to sharpen in the haze.

Terra let loose her tears, not because she was upset. She had actually remembered something from her past! And these memories shown through the fog like a lighthouse beacon. These were images of happy people, specifically a shy, brown-haired woman and a horned man with lavender hair. Without warning, familiarity hit like a ton of bricks. Her mother and father… They felt so close, yet she was devastated by their absence.

"I remember them…" she finally choked out.

It wasn’t just people. She remembered the misty world the espers had sought shelter in. She remembered the rustling of its forests, the sparkling of its lakes, and the smell of the meadow after the rains.

She remembered her mother happily singing that familiar song while tending the fire in the kitchen. She remembered her mother sacrificing herself in an attempt to keep her out of Imperial hands.

She remembered her father placing her on his shoulders and taking her to the hill to watch the sunset over Bismarck's large lake. She remembered her father, as well as the other espers, being taken away in bloody chains.

She remembered being thrown straight into darkness and screaming in fear for her mother, her father, or anyone when no one came to her aid. She remembered screaming until she could scream no more.

And then…

That was it. Nothing else came forth. But her mind continued its attempts to regurgitate things long forgotten, despite nothing coming, and only succeeded in making her more numb each attempt. Terra fell to her knees and fought to hold back the tears, but the levees had already been broken allowing the flooding to continue down her cheeks.

The memories that had returned skirted along the borders of what she was, where she had come from, and those who had lived their lives around her. But there still was one crucial piece missing, the rope that held it together and made her whole. Who was she?

She who was Terra Branford was still lost in the fog of her mind, like a castaway missing in a dark and desolate sea, and was presumed lost with nowhere safe to go.


	9. Cake Portal (South Park)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Haters to the Left - 100 words - Write something that will anger/upset your usual audience. o_O (I actually don't know what would upset my current audience, so I wrote from past writing experience.)

**_Cake Portal_ **  
**_\- South Park_ **

Cartman stood by the door to let Kyle in. He said, “Thanks for coming, dude! This means a lot.”

Kyle said, “A coming out party for you? I wouldn’t miss this for anything!”

Cartman laughed and muttered, “Oh, you won’t.”

“Where’s everyone else?”

“I just remembered that I forgot to get them. Feel free to have some cake until I get back.”

It wasn’t long after he left that the bomb went off, killing Kyle. This had been the greatest joke ever! “Sorry, Kahl, but the cake…was a lie.” A Portal joke. Cartman laughed until he could laugh no more.


	10. Heart in the Right Place (Final Fantasy VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Presents! - 100 words - Someone receives an unexpected gift.

**_Heart in the Right Place_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VII_ **

Cloud was beaming. Tifa, on the other hand, was trying to figure out why he had given her…this. Oh, my. She had seen this once before. In Don Corneo’s mansion.

“Cloud,” she stammered, “I’m flattered but, why…this?”

Cloud grinned stupidly. “Well, I figured that you’d need help with your new partner in the bedroom, you know?”

Tifa’s cheeks blazed like Ifrit’s Inferno. “This… This is a double dildo.”

“That’s…what lesbians use, right?”

Tifa buried her face in palms. “Cloud, you’re my partner.”

Cloud’s face dropped. “Oh, right. I’m sleeping on the couch tonight, aren’t I?”

“You bet you are, mister.”


	11. Greasing Chickens (Final Fantasy VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: WTF - 100 words - I don't know what your character(s) is/are doing, but this is the reaction to it! (a facepalm)

**_Greasing Chickens_ **  
**_\- Final Fantasy VIII_ **

Squall stood outside his quarters, puzzled. The sounds of Quistis, Zell, Irvine and Selphie yelling as chickens squawked was boggling. He looked to Rinoa, who seemed to be just as confused as him.

“Should we at least see if they’re okay?” she asked.

Squall shrugged. “I’m almost afraid to.”

Suddenly, the door burst open, allowing several grease covered chickens to flee. His room was trashed. Inside, their comrades were naked, also covered in grease, and looking very sheepish. Triple Triad cards were everywhere.

Irvine said, “I can explain…”

“Whatever…” Squall turned to Rinoa. “Can I stay at your place tonight?”


	12. Whips the Llama's Ass (LoZ: Ocarina of Time/Super Mario Bros. Super Show!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Hey, Hi There, Hello - 200 words - Crossover time! 2 characters from different universes meet unexpectedly.

**_Whips the Llama’s Ass_ **  
**_\- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!_ **

It had been awhile since Link had come to a crossroads. But now that he was here, he was unsure which way to go.

“Hey! Look!” cried Navi in a bid to capture his attention.

Coming from the right side was something very odd. It looked like Princess Zelda, but this Zelda was wearing adventurer’s clothing. This Zelda looked ready to whip a llama’s ass with her whip. His Zelda only wore pants when parading around as Sheik. His Zelda rarely fought. The man beside her looked like…a dopey version of himself?

“Hey, Princess, check out this guy’s ears!” Link’s doppelgänger said with a pointed finger. “And he’s even got a fairy!” He laughed.

The Zelda imposter rolled her eyes and grabbed her companion by the ear, much to his chagrin. “This is the last time I’m telling you to focus, Link! We’re looking for Ganon, not pretty boys with pointy ears!”

“Well, excuuuuse me, Princess!”

Link could only stare after them as they passed. What a strange pair! Maybe he had hallucinated it. He looked to Navi with a frown, who only glowed red in response. He shrugged and pointed off toward Hyrule Castle. Maybe Zelda knew something about them.


	13. The Summoning (South Park)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Due to your poor spelling, you've accidentally summoned Stan.

_**The Summoning** _   
_**\- South Park** _

Lightning flashed in the distance, illuminating the sky around a rotund figure. The wind started to pick up, blowing his robes every which way to freaking Sunday. He giggled like a Japanese schoolgirl as he carved a name into the dirt within the magic circle using the blood of a rodent. "Yes, yes..." he mumbled. "They'll pay. They'll all pay. Every single last one of them! His time--no, our time is near!"

Lightning flashed once more, illuminating his handy work, a magic circle with an obscured name. It was complete! It was time for the summoning! To bring _Him_ forth from the dark realms!

"Dark spirits!" he cried behind a roll of thunder. "Johnnie Walker, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels! Bring to me _He_ who I have carved in the ancient soil with the blood of an innocent! Do it, god dammit!"

A flash of light blinded him, forcing him to shield his eyes. When it faded, so did the wind. But something was strange to the rotund one. Coughing assaulted his ears, as did a voice. "Dude," it said, "this is pretty fucked up right here."

He knew that voice. It was a voice he heard nearly every single day. He looked over his arm to get a glimpse at _He_ who he had summoned. It was-- It was-- "What the hell? Stan?!" he cried. "What the hell are you doing here, you stupid hippie?!"

Stan returned the outburst with a glare. "Dude. Third time this week, Cartman. Seriously."

Cartman threw his spellbook into the mud in a tantrum. "God dammit! Why the _fuck_ do you keep showing up?! I don't want to summon your tree-huggin' ass!"

Stan looked down at the circle in the ground before shrugging. "I dunno, dude. Maybe you should learn how to spell."

Cartman sputtered in anger several times before shouting, "Stop interrupting my work, god dammit!"

Stan just shook his head before wandering off. "Whatever, dude. I'm going home. I was in the middle of watching VH-1's Behind the Music on Carlos Santana."

"Yeah, well, screw you too, hippie! I don't need your pee-drinking ass anyway!" Cartman scuffed out Stan's name with his boot and, using his bloodied wand, carved a new name into the mud. "Ess-ay-enn-tee-ay-enn-ay. There we go." He retrieved his book and held it aloft over his head. "Dark spirits! Bring me the one I have named in the circle! Yes! Yes! Yes! _Oh, my god, yes!_ "

There was another flash of light, a gust of wind, and deafening thunder. This time, another taller Latino-looking figure appeared in the magic circle. "Hey, man, how'd I get here?"

Cartman once again threw his spellbook to the mud. "Carlos Santana?! Oh, god dammit!"


End file.
